Talk About an Update… November 6, 2008

This post includes a lot, just to let you all know. It talks of crew, dreams, third eyes, yelling, and cocoa and coffee and kisses (or lack of kisses) and books and writing, sadness, play lists, songs and artists, and more! So prepare yourselves for the update of the year!!! (Thus far)

And just a quick note: Yes, Kristin, I may have taken slight advantage of the fact that you said you’d read my whole next post (meaning this one) but come on!! you PROMISED!!!! So read! =)

Ok let’s get the easy stuff over with first: Last Sunday was yet another regatta and my boat sucked. We got 32 out of 38 because our boat was never set (level) people were yelling, and L. (abbreviated for privacy) wouldn’t stop complaining! She sits behind me (I’m seat 3 – meaning 3 from the bow of the boat which is really the back of the boat depending on how you look at it…hard to explain – look it up) and she just…ugh. It’s like whenever she gets into the shell (boat; try to keep up with the crew terminology people) some evil complaining monster comes out and I just wanna strangle her!! So, on Sunday, it went something like this:

L: I can’t do this! My arms hurt!

A (me): *silence*

L: I’m so over this!!!

A: *seething silence*

Tabby (Tabbitha, one of my best friends on the team who is bow seat and behind L): It’s OK, you can do it. *trying to keep L calm and KEEP HER ROWING*

L: I’m so f*****g over this!!!! I can’t breathe!! *complain complain curse curse rant complain*

T: *Still trying to calm down L…*

A: Well then, L, maybe crew isn’t your sport then!!

L: *silent* ………………………………… *complain*

I think you all get the idea…

I wanted to strangle her sooooooo badly…but then she has the nerve to yell at everyone else to keep the boat set and “PULL HHAARRDDEERR!!!!!!!!!” Dare I say hypocrite…?

Ay ay ay.

Also, might I point out that MY hands were hurting, too? And that so were everyone else’s…? I mean, who knew, right?!?!?! OF COURSE YOUR HANDS HURT BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT! Also, her complaining was simply a waste of her breath that should have been saved not only so that my ears were spared but also so that she had more energy to ROW with.

Oh, and did I mention how much she CURSED?! Normally, as you all know, I don’t care who curses and yadda yadda yadda as long as not every other word is a curse word. Then I get irritated. But oh no, I cared then – you know why!?!? BECAUSE IF THE REFS HEAR YOU CURSING YOU GET DISQUALIFIED. Just saying… -.-”

Anyway, the only good part about Sunday’s race was the 4 hour bus ride there and back spent with friends and what not. That was enjoyable, and no I’m not being sarcastic. Another good thing is that I brought about 1/2 gallon of homemade hot chocolate in a magical thermos that is ancient and kept the hot chocolate feeling like it was immediately off the burner for 6 hours until I drank it. It was AMAZING!

Now for the dreams. I don’t feel like going into detail. But here’s the jist of one of them:

3 nights ago:

My mom was an actress who was trying to sell a new Starbuck’s thermos. I don’t know why. Maybe they hired her to do this, but then again maybe not. She was upstairs in her room that had been transformed so that when you walked in you saw one L counter in front of you and then one L to the right. On the L on the right there was a HUGE black coffee maker. Mom was practicing her act for me and I think she was trying to sell the thermos that had nothing unique about it to a certain college… I don’t remember because it was a dream and most people don’t remember every little detail of their dreams…

Anyway, there was also a Japanese person staying with us and she was standing in the hallway with me and we were arguing about who would do which problem in my Japanese workbook. You would think it wouldn’t matter to her because she was Japanese, only apparently it did because she couldn’t figure out either of the answers, and not because they were amazingly hard problems, but because…it was more like she was an English person who spoke Japanese thinking it was coming out English…it was like she was only Japanese to inhibit our ability to communicate. Then (I think this had been like this most of the dream) my vision became very blurry like my contacts weren’t in, only I clearly remembered putting them in, so it was as if they were making my vision a million times worse. My depth perception was way beyond off, colors and objects were blurring into incomprehensible blobs, and I tried to rub eyes to get my vision back and I also closed and opened them multiple times. but nothing worked.

Then I woke up.

It was odd.

Mom’s not home right now. She just called. Of course she mentioned how she never answered me this morning when I asked if Brenden could come over for a little bit. She said not today just now on the phone, but next time maybe if it’s all planned in advance.

The sad part is, I don’t know if there will be a next time.

Brenden called yesterday and I missed it so he left a message saying I should call when I could, so I did, but I missed him. The message he left sounded very…sad. Then, today, he wasn’t waiting for me after history 3rd period like he always does because our history classes are both that period and right next to each other. But no, he wasn’t there. By then I thought something was up, and of course the first thought that pops into anyone’s head is, “are they going to dump me?!” So yea I thought that, but pushed it away.

This afternoon when I went outside to our normal space where I meet Tabby and him and everyone he wasn’t there, but Tabby said she’s just seen him and that he needed to talk to me. I waited for a moment, but then turned towards my bus ’cause it would be leaving soon. Then Tabby called me back and there was Brenden. Looking troubled. Talk about having your heart sink…but he only asked if he would be able to talk to me later tonight on the phone. I said yea, and asked what was wrong because…he looked so dead, and that’s really unlike him. He said it was nothing and he just needed to talk to me. And then – get his, it;s the weirdest part – I didn’t get a goodbye kiss. He just gave me a hug. Usually it’s a kiss then a hug then a goodbye…but no. Just a hug.

I’m scared.

I’ve been playing this group of songs over and over…Some of the titles say it all, others I think the lyrics fit, and some just have some rhythm or something thats fitting my mood…They aren’t all popular or hip or even good but they fit…

1) Thunder::Boys Like Girls (lyrics and melody)

2) My Only Friend::Ronny Day (lyrics and melody)

3) She Will be Loved::Maroon 5 (title-says-it-all and lyrics)

4) How to Save a Life::The Fray (melody)

5) Calling You::Blue October (title-says-it-all, lyrics, and melody)

6) On Top of the World::Boys Like Girls (melody)

——> Annie, look up this song’s lyrics!! (On Top of the World) *faces of lonely daughters and mothers who care who just can’t be there*

7) The Devil in the Wishing Well::Five for Fighting (melody)

8) Extraordinary Girl::Green Day (title, melody, and lyrics)

9) Come on Get Higher::Matt Nathanson (melody)

10) Disco::Metro Station (melody and lyrics)

11) Who Knew::P!nk (lyrics and melody)

12) When the Heartache Ends::Rob Thomas (title-says-it-all)

13) Chasing Cars::Snow Patrol (title, lyrics, and melody) —–> This is the one I’m hearing the most…

14) Pieces::Sum 41 (title-says-it-all, lyrics, and melody)

15) Never to Late::Three Days Grace (title-says-it-all, melody)

16) Skyway Avenue::We the Kings (melody)

And get this: the whole time (which wasn’t long but long enough) I was just on the phone with Mom she kept asking what was wrong, said I sounded dead-pan, and said I needed to make tea or go for a walk or treat myself to something and that she’d talk to me when she got home.

I guess true sadness shows…

~Airolyn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update:

Mom got home probably over 40 minutes ago and I stopped typing and we’ve been talking about dreams, because I identified a common strand in a lot of my dreams: I can’t see as in my vision is blobbed to the point of I can’t comprehend what or where things are and I am completely disoriented by this lack of sight and understanding.

Apparently this means a loss of control or something like that. It’s having to do with my third eye, says my mom, that little eye in the middle of your forehead that is your psychic and metaphorical eye, if you will.

I think she;s right to some degree, although it’s odd to think about because I’m such an intuitive and understanding and….right person when it comes to certain things, things that the loss of the third eye and the loss of sight and things like that in these dreams are implying I am wrong about.

It is odd.

I really don’t know what to say.

Hm.

Time will tell all, no?

On a more comprehensible note: November is write a novel in a month month! You are supposed to write 8 pages a day to push yourself as a writer and produce a novel in only one month. If you decide to do this though keep in mind that you are writing for QUANTITY not quality, and this is what makes it so immensely difficult for writers like me who like to edit while we write (and therefor don’t get very far in our books…!). I’m doing a book either about my life as a teenager (written like it’s someone else, of course, with that little added fictional element) or a book about these forces called shadows and lights and Sight pairs and Formless… it’s all too difficult to explain and type, so maybe I’ll just put up the first few pages in a couple of days… the problem with doing that, however, is that the first few pages don’t explain much at all, but they do get you hooked! (I hope – Phoebe (little sis #1) has already threatened me with death if I don’t write the book after hearing the first 5 pages of it over dinner a week ago!)

No matter what book I choose to do though, it won’t really matter for November because I have only about 3 pages in the teenage book and 5 in the shadow/light book. And it’s the 6th of November. By now I’m supposed to have around 48 pages. Haha yea right… Oh well, maybe it’ll just be a guideline for me like it has been and I’ll push myself for 2 months…! Or 3…or, hey, 4 is a good, even number…!!! See? I need tiiimmmee for QUALITY!! Oh well, it’ll all work out eventuallllyyyy!!!!!!!!!

^_^

~Airolyn

P.S. Check out mai smexy culuhs!!!!!!!!! (translation: look at my awesome color choices)!

!!!!

!!

!

:)

P.P.S. Be happy I at least stayed under 2000 words, those of you who are complaining about post length!!! It’s only around 1,912 words!! (exactly!!) ;)

Guess What?! I’M BORED! July 6, 2008

OK, as you can see quite clearly from the title of this post I’m bored. I wish my friends would post as much as I have been so I have something interesting to read. But, alas, they currently have aquired lives. Losers… xP Just kidding – I love you all!

Anyway, the thing I most wanted to say concerning numbers of posts is that I’m sorry I have been posting SO much, but I don’t have much more to do here. If you have not yet done so I would appreciate everyone who enjoys reading this blog to go back to my most recent dream post (Sleepless Night Spent Sleeping) and read from that post up to this one, because if you don’t you are missing out desperately on my life and its current happenings.

Also, as far as dreams go, I do believe my theory was correct considering that 2 nights ago I had two dreams – one about the Jonas Brothers meeting me (no comment and no details I feel like reporting) and the other was about the camp I’m about to go to, except this was not a good dream! – and I had stayed up both nights. The art camp one did not end well due to the fact that in order to get to the camp we had to use a rope that slanted upwards across the tops of some pine trees – this slightly resembled a flat slope if you looked at it from the side…it looked like something out of a Mario game now that I think of it – and Luke was better at it than I was. Because of this a nice councelor showed Luke and I an abandoned rest room atthebottom of the trees and the last stall had a hatch above the tiolet that she opened with her key that revealed some stairs. Then the old headmaster dude heard us so my brother walked out and revealed himself, then I followed – this was so the councelorwouldn’t be found and, like, killed for showing us “the secret.” She then got locked in there though, ’cause the master didn’t know about her being there, and then we had to climb the rope/trees, and then go back to our tiny rooms, and look our windows that gave a scary view down the mountains we were on, and then Chris, my other brother, began squishing poinsonousspiders. It was nerve-racking.

I prefer not to go into more detail.

The curious thing though is that I have had that dream before…ugh. I have had a lot of repeat dreams recently…’tis odd…

Since I have nothing better to now ramble on about I think I shall put up my newest music loves. They are as follows (yes they are in order of greatest favorite to least favorite, but I love them all) :

1) Panic! At the Disco : Time to Dance

2) Panic! At the Disco : Camisado

3) Fall Out Boy : Fame > Infamy

4) Coldplay : Viva La Vida

5) Hellogoodbye : Here(In Your Arms)

6) My Chemical Romance : Famous Last Words

These are the ones currently on my ever-playing playlist. Next week I shall probably havebrand new favorites, so don’t be discouraged, dear readers, if you don’t like any of the above mentioned songs.

If you have never heard any of the above songs I highly reccomend you look them up.

Now…anything else I can write about in my time of boredom…

Well, I;ve gotton to know Melissa, or Pruks (Pr-oo-x, is how it’s pronounced) who is the renter and friend of Tiffany’s. She’s really cool…I’m currently on her laptop, so she automatically gets good-person status! =D

She’s been the one staying up with me playing Speed and other such card games, along with Tetris on the X-Box. She’s 26, but still 16 on the inside. She is also cool because she understands that the problem with my father is that he doesn’t know how to have fun, that I am the coolest of all of my siblings, and, finally, that children under 15 are murder and should be shot. In my family at least…

Yes, I am just kidding (I would never shoot anyone…unless my life were in danger), but still. Siblings, You gotta understand!!

 By the way, Keebler’s Grasshoppers (the cookies) are sooooo good…mmmmmm…

*I fell in love, in love with you suddenly, now there’s no other place I could be but here in your arms.*

Stupid song lyrics are making my jealous…

Ugh.

BORED…

GO VEGETARIAN! YOU’LL FEEL BETTER AND LIVE BETTER! SAVE LIVES – DON’T EAT MEAT!!!

That was my vegetarian rant for the day – be thankful it was short or I can guarantee you all would be chocking on your chicken sandwiches that you just had for lunch!

I want to IM someone, but no one is on…

Compy!

(Computer)

I can’t wait for art camp…the only downside is that I do believe I will be cut of from the rest of the world for that month. But, dear blogging buddies, do not despair! I will try to slip in a quick post here and there if I can find a computer…

If not, then I will just do an extra long post when I return!!

>=D

Haha…

Cringe before my wordy-ness!

I am now going to go to humanbrqincloud.com because it is amusing at bored times such as these…

Most of my love,

Untill next time,

Tons of hugs,

~Airolyn!!

P.S. 894  words…hehe… xD Let’s get to 900!! Wod word word…Yay! 900 words! =D

<3

Sleepless Nights Spent Sleeping July 4, 2008

This is going to be a nice quick post because I must soon go back and woop my step-mom’s butt in Tetrus on the X-Box.

For the past 4 days I have been up untill at least midnight. Then I have slept in untill noon. This is a nice life – staying up playing card games and then sleeping the day away – because there is nothing more exiting in this house to do, due to the fact that I am never alowed on the X-Box or the 360 because my siblings are assholes. They refuse to let me play ever and are being such losers I think I might have to seriously beat them. But that is beyond the point.

This entry is simply to state my theory that late nights and late mornings for those of us who are neither late to bed nor early to rise people leads to too many dreams. I have already posted one of my recent dreams that was wierd, but that was before I even came to my father’s. However, in the past two nights I have had two strange dreams that I will not bother to describe in any more detail than the following:

1) 2 nights ago I had a dream where there were two captains of these two ships – one good and one bad – and they were, like, floating ships, and this was int he future, and me and my dad were in this pool/ocean thing and the current would pull you away and drown you if you let go if this rope railing, and my dad was being able to slowly but surely pull himself fromt he evil waters but then the pirate-y ship people showed up and the bad one yelled at the good one for not using the right sword because the one he was using was connected to the ship and he should have used Kenshin or whatever the sword was called, and yada yada yada…Then a lot of people died and I was in space on a half-blown-up spaceship in a room that had once been the living room and I was alone and my cats had died and I have no idea. It was wierd. Then my dad and my sister and I were in a futeristic mall and we called for a cop who gave me a ride to this one place (it was a robot cop) and I found my friend whom Maggie refers to as Pancake and he was with some other little girl and he told me what had happened to him and I told him about the deadly pool thing and the spaceship and then we were released and then I chased him through the mall on a bike and we were both going down stairs too fast on the bikes and almost hitting the bikers on the stairs in front of us and it was strange. I am not going into any more detail ’cause it will take too long.

2) Last night I was with my friend Kristin in the dream and we were having to climb mountain paths and fight necromancers who were following us. The first time my group was moving very slowly up the mountain so the flying ship that was carring the evil necromancers was catching up and let hem off at the edge of the mountain and they chased us and we beat them and then we were in a desert and it was dark. Then I was staying with this one sper poor desert lady whos home was on the sand surrounded by two cloths and she wouldn’t let me move one of the cloths so we would be better hidden from the wind. There was a raven plaque on the wall and she was very evily religious and I was nervous so then I met up with Kristin again and we left and we found our group and we walked around the edges of these mountains to the base of another mountain where we were to go in and fight more necrimancers to get to this happy place but first we had to go to another mountain and shear some animals. It was wierd. First we went to one cave and got the tools then we walked a long way again and went into a mountain cave with all the animals. I was like the first one tehre so I grabbed a sheep. I was done pretty fast so then Kristin and I got a car ride to the mountain with the necromancers. This was very strange and lucky because there were no cars so we were happy anyway ’cause we hadn’t had to trudge through the sand again. It was still dark. Then the rest of the group showed up and they were poking the ground outside of the necromancer cave and I whispered to Kristin that that was stupid because I knew some necros would jump out of the ground and sure enough they did and then we beat them back but only due to numbers, not skill. Then we went in the cave, got through, and came to this little rock formation that was almost like…a jungle gym because there was a slide biult on the far side and a ramp that we crossed. Kristin and I followed this one guy that I apparently liked then we found a back path that led to this little tree adn we could sit there hidden by bushes and watch everyone. Then the dream started over from the first mountain path part and this time we were a million times faster and got rd of the necromancers much easier and then we had to shear animals again and this time I got a goat who kept biting me and the dude I liked got a llama and I was jealous and then we went back to the mountain of the necros and Kristin and I somehow managed a ride again except it turned out to be the dude I liked who was driving. Then we made it through again, Kristin and I went to our tree, and then we were all told to gather around the part of the necros’ cave that we had come out of. Then these two old people came out and started taking people into the caves to test them. My friend Rome was in front of me and she got chosen first because the old lady liked her watch which was actually my watch I had lent Rome. Rome was nervous and resistent but eventually went in and passed. Then the two people next to her went, then she went again. Then the old man chose this girl named Shannon, took her in, and she came back telling everyone it was time for ice-cream. Turns out not everyone was tested – in fact only like 4 people were – and that Shannon had gotton to choose the ice-cream flavors. Then I couldn’t find any good ice-cream so I settled with vanilla and then I went back to the tree with Kristin, then Kristin left the tree, and then the dude I liked joined me, we made out, and then I woke up to Tiffany (step-mom) asking if I was going to come downstairs and eat. I replied with “eventually” and went back to sleep for three hours.

It was wierd.

~Airolyn

P.S. Sorry, and so much for quick – it turned out to be more than I thought!

Strange June 26, 2008

Dream was had on the night of 6-23

I had an odd dream last night, the likes of which I have never had before. It was very strange and scary in a sad sort of way, and I feel like sharing it with you all so that it will hopefully leave my head. Please don’t like, shun me as it was only a dream and we do not control our dreams or their level of strangeness – they just happen.

The jist of it is that some dude at our school (he doesn’t really exist at our school, but he did in the dream) was going to beat up Kristin who is one of my oh-so-small friends (short). This angered me greatly so I stood up to him and he said something about the B***h getting someone else to fight him or something – all I remember is him using that particular curse word. Then things got all cunfuzzling as dreams usually do and we were fist fighting, but no one was getting hit and I kept dodging and then somehow he appeared in a little car and tried to run me over. He got pretty close.

(We were originally standing on a grassy curb to a parking lot near the school but the fight was happening now on the pavement.)

He hit me with his clown car but I jumped up on the hood and smashed the windshield (unintentionally, I pretty much was thrown into it by the force of the jump), but then he kept turning and trying to hit me and eventually succeeded but then I kept dodging…and then all I remember is that I won the fight and was informed later by my health teacher that she had been watching through a window and that I had done a marvelous job dodging. It was weird. Then Kristin thanked me because she was in my health class.

I felt awesome.

But then the dream got weird and all and I was back at my house and it was like 3am and I was downstairs getting a drink of water. Then 4 guys came in through the window that is above our sink, crouched down, and looked sort of ninja-like. Then the tallest one stood up (no they were not wearing masks or anything) and it turned out to be the dude I had fought earlier only he was missing his mustache and looked more like a 9th grader than a 30 year old…They told me something but I don’t remember what…We all became excellent friends but then my mom called down, “Who’s there…?” and I said it was me getting water. I told the others to hide and I went upstairs to assure mom. Then she told me that whichever ones of my friends were down there that they had better leave now. I was floored.

I then went downstairs and saw 6 cats curled up in a line by the couch…2 were mine and real and the others were the boys who had curled up and now looked like cats, but when they uncurled they were themselves…don’t ask me about this – it was a dream, so I have no clue.

I told them to go and they did. I went back to bed.

Then I don’t remember much except somehow I was in Arabic (and the dude who I had beat up was in that class, too – his name was Elliot or something) and I was crying. He was evil again now, and I was holding a piece of fancy paper that said (in short) that we were going to be married. I did not want this, but apparently if I told anyone I would be killed. It sucked. Kyle (another Arabic class dude) was being nice but then got mean and the whole class was looking at me funny so I screamed at them. They looked scared.

Just then a teacher came in and I stopped her and held up a piece of lined paper on which I had done some doodles, and said, “can you take this to Katy in Mr D.’s class?”

She said she didn’t know who that was so I jumped at the chance and told her I’d show her, and Elliot eyed me warily. I left quickly and then burst into a new round of sobs and told the lady what was going on. She then told another lady and they rushed me somewhere.

Then I don’t remember what happened, as people often forgot parts of dreams.

All I remember then was being briefly at my dad’s house, then the scene skipped back to the school. I was sitting at a computer, Elliot came in, I broke into sobs about how I didn’t want to get married and he was nice again and said he knew and that I would have to get to know him first. Then he kissed me and I was at a computer and I was blushing and went back to typing. Then he kissed the top of my head, left, and I woke up.

It was so strange, scary, good, and bad all at the same time – I hated and loved it. Don’t you just hate dreams like that?!?!

=]

~Airolyn